Sunday Night Blues

I first remember the feeling when I was 10 or 11. I couldn't sleep at night and I didn't feel myself. We had just moved from the farm to town, and there was a lot of change in our house. Both parents had new jobs with new routines being learned, and new bus routes to travel. My mom was gone overnight for work. Dad would tuck me in at night with my sis. The bed piled high with pillows to help me sleep and ease the physical symptoms, of what I couldn't name.
I had an uneasiness in my body that I couldn't describe. Then Dad asked if I felt "blue." For some reason that resonated with me, and I smiled "yes." Happy to have a word to describe the way I felt inside. Now that I knew what it was called, I could help myself get rid of the feeling.
Years later, while in college I would get the "Sunday Night Blues" almost every Sunday night. The week was about to re-start. My weekend with my family or my boyfriend was over. I was alone. My thoughts and I were alone, and I felt lonely. Like no one could understand me.
When I got married, that feeling receded and the "blues" left. I started working off-shifts. Never really having an offical "start" to the work week.
I'm alone tonight. Waiting for Jeff to return from a day of pheasant hunting with the dog. It's nice to be alone. I take a nap and awaken to night. That feeling starts to creep in..... then I remember that I know who I am now, and the blues don't have to bother me. I'm ok with the start of the week tomorrow because I know I can handle it. I'd still like to have dinner with my hubbie tonight. But if he's home too late. I'll enjoy the time to myself and know that I'm ok no matter what tomorrow brings.