This here, is called a blog. I guess it is a good place to journal, and to communicate with people. So, in an attempt to communicate with our family and friends, we will try to "blog."
We meet 2007 with hope for the future and the year. Amidst recent pregnancy losses of close friends and family, we mourn because of the pain of this imperfect world. It is difficult to express sympathy to all of us who experience pain and loss privately within the realm of infertility and pregnancy. It is easy to gloss over it, and to say it is "meant to be," and "it'll be OK." Sometimes we need to feel the loss, mourn over it, cry and let it be felt. Life really sucks sometimes. The older we get the more we understand that. Thankfully it doesn't end here, on this planet. There is always hope no matter if we want to feel that today or not. Jesus died to give us hope. To erase the sin of this world and to bring us to life eternal with our God.
Anyway, I'm digressing a little.....
We do have hope for the future. Jeff and I are hoping to have some future family questions answered this year. We are looking toward possibly doing invitro fertilization (IVF) in April. So, that will determine a lot of how our future family looks. ?how many children, ?adopted or not, ?singletons or multiples Our hope is that 2007 will answer questions so we can make decisions on how to continue with our life!
In the mean time, we have been learning lessons. Lessons within lessons. A lot of things have been taken from us during this infertility journey, and we are feeling our losses all the time. But, we still have peace about our future. We will have a family some day. We've gained a lot of knowledge about each other and our faith, about what we can handle, about communicating to each other, about navigating thru this world while trying to make good, Godly decisions. We've learned that the love that we already have for any child that is given to us is very strong.
So, thank you to all of you who already know this story in some shape or form. Thank you for being patient with our emotional state of being in the past years. Thank you for listening, asking and not asking, for praying, for thinking of us, and for giving us encouragement. I'd like to say thank you and end it there, but I'm afraid that we'll need more prayers and gentle encouragement in the future. I'm learning to be OK with that. So, may 2007 bless all of us with life abundant, in any shape or form!
5 comments:
Nice job Jenny. You really have a way with your words. I felt like I was reading poetry. We pray everyday that the two of you get the answers that you have been waiting for and know that only good things can happen to those who wait. You have waited more than your fair share. We wish for you both only the best. Thank you for the listening ears that you have given us and all the other "help" and especially your courtesy. You have know idea how much we both appreciated that when we need it the most. Thank you, Thank you. We love you guys.
Love you back!
Oh, my Jennifer Kathleen... How much I love you.:)(i have to right? how many times have you puked from nervousness on/at my feet?) You are a wonderful person and friend. Your strength is beyond comprehension. As I sit here at school with tears running down my face..... I am reminded how lucky we are. Words can not express the love and compassion we feel for your both through your journey. Hopefully April will bring much needed news to your family.
Today we have a funeral of a father of one of my students. Life is not fair, and more often recently the little town of Tyler has felt grief beyond comprehension. It is hard to understand the true plan or message that is "trying" to be sent to us. God often works in mysterious, incomprehensible, often maddening ways.
We are thinking about you guys and sending prayers your way.
We love you-Kitsie
Thanks Kitsie! You are a wonderful person for still liking me even though I have puked on/at your feet!!! That takes true compassion!
Love ya!
Loss is such a painful part of life to get used to. It visits us much on this earth. When it hits hard, it does just "suck" sometimes...I hear you. It forms us as you have stated, but with lots of tears and struggles along the way. That is why we need the love of God, but we also need each other's love and encouragement. I understand "that part" of your ordeal (We have appreciated your part in encouraging and loving us during Bill's ordeal!) You have our whole-hearted love and encouragement to grieve and grow, run the race, to keep your eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of your faith, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross. This was a verse that many times got me through days this past year. I kept reminding myself that Jesus had to endure and what got Him through was that he kept looking beyond to a future joy. This was a window He looked through as a human on earth. He felt pain, disappointment at humanity, anger, yet He set an example that we can look beyond that at a future joy. It does come. He did say that ALL things work together for GOOD, for those who are called, according to HIS purpose. Our miracle, whatever it looks like, is just around the corner. It seems like loss comes with a double-edged sword for those who grow by it...The pain of loss/trials/grief...and the joy & peace & contentment & struggle of personal and spiritual growth. I have never had to run the race in the realm of infertility, so I cannot fully comprehend your pain. I can be here for you in prayer and love. Have courage on this earthly path...it is okay to lay all things in your heart "bare" to the Lord...tell Him everything...your joys and your sorrows and your anger. HE has BIG shoulders. Best of all, He is listening. I don't always know why things happen (except we live in aan imperfect world), but when I die, I want God to say, "You did what was required of you, and you did it well. Enter the everlasting Kingdom." We are looking forward to rejoicing with you in that future joy when your children arrive; no matter how they get here. The Lord goes before you and He is your rear guard (Isaiah). Looking forward to joy, TIA
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